Sunday, May 3, 2009

i lab you tu...

so i'm in my room facebooking at around 11pm, then i hear my mom scream. i run out, and she's on the floor crying hysterically while my dads getting mad saying "it's not confirmed yet!" my mom's shouting telling us to call the number on her cell who gave her the text. i took her phone and read...

"natay ni nana"

i couldn't believe it. i too was like "whatever, its not confirmed" NOT TRUE. like seriously, through a damn text, you say that nana is dead?! cant be! i was absolutely furious. like who would seriously tell someone their mom is dead through a text??

my dad was trying to call the philippine number while i try to call tita au because my mom wanted to talk to her but she didn't answer. i called AR and asked if he heard anything n he didnt. finally tita au answered and apparently didn't get the text and i dont know how her reaction was but it somehow calmed my mom. we kept trying to call the philippines. we finally get through to my tito's house and our cousin said that yes she was unresponsive, but they revived her.

long story short, my mom got in contact with my tito who was with my grandma. my mom was talking to them asking to do whatever they can to just keep her alive, just until they can go and see her. you guys don't understand, since my mom's an RN, she was shouting telling them what they should do, what they shouldve done, and what they were doing wrong. she was suppose to go up there on monday to help take care of her. grandma was suppose to be fine. it was hard hearing my mom say "she was fine yesterday! they said she was still able to hold tata's hand!"

we prayed. my mom couldn't do anything. we couldn't do anything. we prayed for her survival. we prayed for the doctors. we prayed for strength. we prayed for a miracle. all my mom could say was "nana is in Your Hands Lord, nana is in Your Hands"

my mom called them back and all i heard was "so wala ni nana?" they couldn't do anything anymore. the battle was over. once again we prayed. we prayed for comfort. we prayed for peace. we especially prayed for tata. his whole life was centered around nana. he can never be 5 seconds away from her and not freak out.

through all this, i had peace. i just knew it had to be God. if they hadn't went to the Philippines, nana wouldn't have gotten sick, and even if she did get sick, she'd be here with quality doctors and her nurse daughters. but it was God's timing. pastor jun always says "you are immortal until your job on earth is completed" it was her time to go. Though we were shocked, God wasn't. and looking at it, He allowed for a nice goodbye. We all got to see them off. hug and kiss them before they got into their wheelchairs, see them go through security, and left with a hope that we'll see them soon.

Its so hard. i dislike looking at the picture up there, because it still seems like she's here. but once the realization of her being gone began to settle in, i can't help but think that this was an answer to her prayers. she had a hard life, and it wasn't getting easier. I see her right now finally meeting her Savior, with no more diabetes, no more weak hands and feet, and crazy joy. She lived a full life. being married at 14, having 10 children, and being 80 when she passed. it truly was her time.

I love you grandma. and i can see hear her ever so clearly
saying "i lab you tu..."


Glenda said...

i don't even know how can you guys say all of this right... i mean, when i was typing mine... i couldn't help but cry. i can't even think and write what i'm feeling at that moment. *sigh* i'm really going to miss NANA! i just thank the LORD for giving us the opportunity to be with her... and for all the wonderful memories!

Givenchi said...

Oh Jeccah, this entry brought tears to my eyes.. Even if I wasn't able to spend most of my life with nana, she was always a blessing to me and to my family. I'll miss her cooking and her thoughtfulness. She never fails to send us longganisa and bigas whenever she's here in the Phils. I'll surely miss her...